Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What to know before you Jiu-Jitsu

Here's a little starter list of important things I think everyone should consider before they begin jiu-jitsu.


DO

  1. If you are female, layers are your friend.  Layers with high necks and high waistlines.  If you have larger than average "girls", keep those girls at bay.  As great as it is to tap your opponent, it's awkward for us all if someone has to tap to boob.
  2. Regardless of whether you are a daily #2'er, weekly, or a 3-2-1er (3 #2's in 1 day), try to make sure this occurs right before class or as close to this time as possible.  This will prevent many, um, uncomfortable moments.  
  3. If you are having trouble keeping your pipes in order, ground flax is a great addition to morning smoothies that will keep them sparkling clean and in great working order! Just ask my buddy Jaime (but ignore him if he suggests consuming Epsom salt)!
  4. Males.  Please wear compression shorts.  Just.  Please.  Ick.



DON'T

  1. Don't consume hummus ever again.  At least not within a day of training.  No.  Don't.  Don't argue with me.  Just don't do it.  The only situation where this may be acceptable is if everyone you are training with is wearing ear and nose plugs.  But I still recommend avoiding this.
  2. Don't think you can get away with wearing that gi a few times without washing it.  We smell you.  We act like we don't but we do.  That's why, after the round is over, you see us smelling our hands and making faces and then glaring at you from the other side of the room.
  3. Don't wipe your nose on my gi!  You have your own clothing right there!  I see it!  Best idea would be for you to use the inside of your shirt but absolutely don't use me or my gi!
This was just a random list of things I thought were important to know.  Additions by you, dear reader (all 2 of you!) are certainly welcome!  :)